


We Could Have Had Something

by Waxwing



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, M/M, Self Loathing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 00:05:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waxwing/pseuds/Waxwing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Earl reflects on missed opportunities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Could Have Had Something

Earl supposes that when all is said and done he has no one to blame but himself. A part of him had always assumed that he and Cecil would wind up together, after all they were the only two gay men in town. It seemed almost as though fate had gift wrapped Cecil for him. He knew Cecil would never leave Night Vale and nether would he and new people came to town so rarely...  


Earl supposed that that was what had made him wait so long to say anything. For some reason the knowledge that, had Cecil lived somewhere with an actual gay community, he could have taken his pick of potential partners but because he lived in tiny, desolate, remote little Nigh Vale Cecil (sweet, clever, charismatic, ever smiling Cecil) had no other options besides plain ordinary old him made him feel..guilty. In retrospect he was sure he could have made a move at any time. Cecil was so open and so warm, with so much affection that he was so eager to give, but Earl couldn't help the feeling that he wasn't worthy. Cecil was far better than he felt he had any right to hope for, but Cecil could do so much better than him and was doomed to be tragically unaware of it. It was because of this that he felt he had an obligation to MAKE himself worthy. He felt it would have been somehow morally wrong of him to declare his affections until he was the sort of man that Cecil would have willingly chosen had he actually had a choice... because he was so sure that his affections were guaranteed to be returned. Over the years Cecil had become his "carrot on a string" for lack of a better term. He had earned merit badges and good grades and accolades and promotions and considered them all spoils that he would someday lay at Cecil's feet...when the time was right.. and there was no hurry, after all, new people came to town so rarely...  


Earl supposed that the fated day would have come sooner had Cecil not also turned out so exceptional, but the "Voice of Night Vale" was an esteemed position and someone in such an esteemed position deserved a partner who was equally esteemed. Earl needed to push harder, climb higher, so that when people saw him and Cecil out in public together (when they eventually, inevitably wound up together) they wouldn't say that Cecil had "married down." Earl was content to toil away building himself up, secure in the knowledge that Cecil was basically on reserve for him. He didn't mind going home each night to an empty house and a cold, solitary bed as long as he could bump into Cecil at all the town social functions and see that he was also there alone, as long as their eyes could meet across a crowded town hall and an unspoken understanding could pass between them, as long as he knew that Cecil was safe from any lecherous, dishonest men who would take advantage of his romantic eagerness. Earl found himself strangely grateful for the isolation that Nigh Vale afforded. Cecil was kept safe for him, like a maiden locked away in a tower, until such time as Earl was worthy, ready to ride up on his white steed and..claim him. Earl came to rely on this unspoken arranged marriage, to build his life around it as the one thing that he could truly rely on. After all, they were the ONLY two gay men in town and two of the towns most prominent and well loved citizens. Of course they were meant for each other...even if they technically hadn't had a conversation since the 8th grade.  


You see, the thing was that as time went by Cecil got lovelier and lovelier and more and more confident and less and less like that gawky, awkward little boy that Earl had fallen for back when they were in summer camp together.There had even been a few times when Earl had planned on going through with it, on confessing his unyielding adoration to his paramour but then, when he actually found himself in front of Cecil, under that bright, piercing gaze, accosted by a stream of all-too-easy, congenial chatter, lit upon by that perfect smile, he would lose all the nerve that he'd spend the previous few days building up. Cecil was still too good for him but that was ok. He had all the time in the world to work on it. He felt secure in the knowledge that Cecil would wait for him...without even meaning to...because he had no other options...because they were the ONLY two gay men in town..and new people came along so rarely. It wasn't as though some roguish, suave, perfect haired scientist was going to show up out of nowhere and snatch Cecil out from under him...yep, he had all the time in the world.


End file.
